


Hell Hath No Fury

by DiamondsxStags



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Revenge, Spoilers for Season Four, luca/reader is the main pairing, tommy shelby is not a good person, tommy/grace and tommy/lizzie are only mentioned, tommy/reader is pretty much over from the beginning lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-02-25 21:28:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13221603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondsxStags/pseuds/DiamondsxStags
Summary: You had been betrayed for the last fucking time.





	1. Chapter 1

As the wife of Thomas Shelby, there were times when your choice in a husband was called into question.

 

For one, there was Thomas’s dangerous reputation. This had been especially concerning for your mother, who was already a nervous creature. But the prospect of her daughter, her only child, running around with a Shelby, any Shelby, almost sent her into full blown hysterics.

 

“He has blades in his cap!” She had hissed, eyes flitting around the kitchen like she was expecting Tommy to appear out of nowhere. You wouldn’t be surprised if she truly did believe that. “I don’t want you around him!”

 

“I love him mum.” You had told her, which at the time had been true, more than true even. Being around Tommy was like being lit up from the inside, like walking on air, like breathing in heaven. You had never felt happier. “And he’s good to me. Like dad was to you, I swear.”

 

That had softened her, untensed all of her muscles and smooth out her brow. She had never stopped loving your dad, and all she had ever wanted was for you to find someone like him, someone who adored you and let you be imperfect. And to you, Tommy fit the bill.

 

At least at the time.

 

* * *

 

 

Ever since the announcement of the vendetta, you had been on edge, jumping at the smallest of sounds and flinching whenever a shadow wavered. It wasn’t a good look on the wife of Thomas Shelby, and normally you wouldn’t be this jumpy, but with Michael in hospital and John dead, every bit of you was on high alert.

 

One hand was always in your bag, fingers resting on the hilt of your gun, ready to pull it out at the first opportunity. You had carried a gun ever since Tommy first made you his girl. “I won’t have you walking around Small Heath unprotected.” He had said, offering you a pistol. “So either take the gun or I’ll have my boys following you everywhere you go.” Of course after you were married he had Blinders following you whenever he was gone, which you had tolerated purely because it could get lonely at times. But now seeing them made you feel even worse, almost as if they were an omen of death.

 

For your own safety, Tommy had kept you virtually housebound, which was something you didn’t entirely mind. It would be easier for you to detect intruders, and with a small platoon of Blinders watching every second of the day, your safety was practically guaranteed. But that didn’t stop you from jumping when you heard a knock at the door.

 

In the tense few seconds that passed, you were able to tell yourself that the Italians weren’t likely to just knock. Besides, there had been no sound of a commotion outside, no gunshots or yelling, so whoever was at the door was clearly not a threat.

 

All the same, you kept your gun behind you as you slowly opened the door, ready to pull it out and shoot at the earliest given opportunity.

 

The relief that washed over you when you saw that it was just Lizzie felt like a blast of fresh country air.

 

You smiled and relaxed your muscles, already feeling your heart going back to beating normally. “Lizzie! Good Lord you gave me a fright.” You hugged the other woman tight, closing the door behind her.

 

There were some people who found it odd that you were so accepting of Lizzie working for Tommy, given her past. But you had known Lizzie longer than you had known Tommy and viewed her as an older sister. She was beautiful and tough and got far too much shit from everyone. During her brief engagement to John, you had been the only supportive voice in an otherwise displeased chorus. And when Tommy went behind your back to sabotage the relationship between Lizzie and John, you were more angry with him than her. You knew that for Lizzie it would just be business rather than anything personal, and you had never held it against her the way everyone else seemed to.

 

“It’s good of you to come.” You said, ushering her into the main room. “I’ve been going crazy cooped up in here.”

 

“Yes, Tommy was saying.” Lizzie’s voice sounded smaller than usual, but you attributed that to the adrenalin that was still pumping in your ears. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

 

“Don’t be. The fact that you came at all is wonderful.” The two of you sat on the sofa and you deposited your gun back into your pocket. Had you been in a more generally relaxed state, you probably would’ve noticed how rigidly Lizzie sat, how nervous she looked. But you didn’t, all that mattered was that your dearest friend had come to see you. “Would you like some tea? Something to eat?”

 

“No, no, I’m alright.” Lizzie tried to smile, but it seemed to stop halfway. “I can’t be here long, I’m on my break, I just came by to tell you…” She trailed off, looking down at her hands with an expression that could only be described as ‘worrying’.

 

“What’s the matter Lizzie?” Seeing her like this wasn’t something that happened often. You got the feeling that she abhorred showing vulnerability or weakness in any capacity, and you couldn’t entirely blame her. Small Heath wasn’t kind to you if it knew you were soft.

 

There was a brief pause, and in that pause every bad thing that could’ve possibly happened ran through your head, bringing back your earlier sense of alarm. You put a hand on Lizzie’s shoulder. “Lizzie?”

 

“I’m pregnant.”


	2. Chapter 2

You grabbed Lizzie’s hands and beamed, feeling like you were drunk on joy. “Oh Lizzie that’s wonderful news!” You said. “I’m so happy for you! Do you know who the father is?”

 

Lizzie’s smile dropped, and her mouth became a thin line, which was never a good thing. “I…yes.”

 

“Well who is it?”

 

In the silence that became before her answer, you felt something shift. It was in the flutter of Lizzie’s eyelid, the wrinkle in her brow. Whatever it was, it was clearly big and deeply troubling. 

 

You gave Lizzie’s hands a comforting squeeze, silently egging her on to answer.

 

“Tommy.” Her voice came out as a croak. “He-It’s Tommy’s.”

 

When you found out about Grace, you thought you would never experience a heartbreak like that one. And in a way, you were right. This didn’t feel anything like that. This was so much worse.

 

“Lizzie…” How you managed to keep your voice steady was a mystery to you, but you weren’t pondering it at that moment. “I need you to leave.” Your hands fell from Lizzie’s and rested on the coffee table, your nails sinking into the dark, polished wood. “Because if you don’t…” A sharp gasp escaped you and you blinked, your vision clouding. “If you don’t, I’m going to say something hurtful. And I don’t want to do that.”

 

Perhaps you should’ve said it, Lord knows most people would’ve let you be nasty and horrible in this instance, but your mother’s words still rang in your ears.  _ If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. _

 

And that was what you were doing. While your insides were keening and clawing, you kept your mouth shut tight and your hands on the table.

 

Being as close to you as she was, Lizzie knew what your breaking point looked like. She rose, and even though she wasn’t looking at you, you could see the pained look on her face. That seemed to make things worse.

 

Lack of remorse you could deal with, it would’ve made everything easier. But this clearly showed a guilty conscience ( _ One that had seemed to hide away while she was fucking Tommy _ a spiteful voice spat), the knowledge that she had done wrong by you and regretted it, and that made you hurt even more.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly.

 

You barely heard the door close as you bent over, trying to steady your breathing as your hands shook and nails made marks in the table.

 

* * *

 

When Grace got the job at the Garrison, you hadn’t really paid much attention to her. To you she was just another barmaid, a pretty one with a lovely voice, but just a barmaid. A part of you sometimes wondered if that had been the problem, that if you had just paid closer attention you would’ve seen her for what she was, or at the very least, you would’ve spotted the growing attraction and tension between her and Tommy and put an end to it.

 

At least that’s what you had thought at the time. Now you weren’t so sure.

 

* * *

 

Being able to barge in on Tommy at work was a privilege you were afforded as his wife, but rarely indulged in. In fact it had only ever happened once, when you confronted him about Grace. And now history was repeating itself.

 

When Tommy saw you he smiled, actually  _ smiled _ , as if nothing in the world was wrong. The thought that he didn’t know briefly crossed your mind, but a part of you knew better. He would’ve been the first person Lizzie told. And he had kept this from you and  _ smiled _ .

 

“Something the matter darling?”

 

_ Darling.  _ You wanted to tear his lying little tongue right out of his mouth.

 

“When were you going to tell me Lizzie was pregnant with your child?” There was no point in beating around the bush, you needed to talk about this right here right now.

 

Tommy’s smile immediately fell ( _ good _ ) and he put down his pen. “When did she tell you.” His voice was hushed, no doubt wanting to keep this particular matter between you, him, and Lizzie, and not have everyone outside his office hear.

 

Well to Hell with that. He doesn’t get to keep this quiet. “Ten minutes ago.” You raised your voice, feeling every inch of you burn. But whether it was from hurt or indignation or something else entirely you couldn’t tell. “The only reason why I’m not screaming in her face is because she had the fucking guts to tell me, while you decided to act like nothing had happened.”

 

In the corner of your eye you saw the whiskey and glasses Tommy kept in his office, and you pictured yourself throwing one of the glasses-no, the whole fucking bottle-right at his head.

 

“I was going to tell you-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You knew from the brief silence that your voice had travelled beyond the office to whomever was outside. ( _ Let them hear, it’s not like they don’t know how much of a shit Tommy is. _ ) “Don’t you fucking dare lie to me Thomas!”

 

“I’m not.” Tommy kept his voice low, eyes briefly flitting to the large doors behind you, as he slowly and cautiously approached you, as if you were a horse that hadn’t yet been broken. “I wanted to tell you, I really did-”

 

“But you didn’t did you.” To your horror, tears began to form in your eyes. No, you refused to cry in front of his man over the same fucking thing again. He would be getting a lot of things from you, but tears were not going to be one of them.

 

“You said-” The sound of your voice breaking almost made you wince, but you held it back and dug your nails into your palms instead. “After Grace, you said you would never do this to me again. You  _ promised _ me.” Something like a strangled whimper escaped your throat and you felt your face heat up even more out of embarrassment. “Well, at least now I know how much your promises to me mean to you.”

 

“Don’t.” Tommy, lying little fool that he was, held your wrist, running a thumb over your knuckles. “You know I love you, I-”

 

There had never been a sound as loud as the one your hand striking Tommy’s face made. It seemed to echo in the office, like a church bell ( _ the church bells from your wedding day _ ), and for a moment it rendered you deaf.

 

In an instant, every day that had passed since you met Tommy flashed before your eyes, all of them playing at once, but moving so slowly it felt like a lifetime had passed when you finally saw Tommy cearly again.

 

And perhaps it had. All of those days were a lifetime ago, a whole different person ago. And you didn’t know what to do with them now.

 

“I wish I had never met you.”

 

You had wanted the hurt in his eyes to make you feel pleased, even triumphant. Now maybe he would understand how you felt, how you had felt ever since Grace. But you felt nothing. Nothing was going to make this better, and both of you knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! Do the same with Surname and your own Surname, and be sure to tick Store this replacement so that you don’t have to do it every time.

That night you went to your mum’s, and collapsed weeping into her arms. It had taken more than twenty minutes and two cups of tea for you to speak coherently, but when you were able to tell her what had happened, you saw the fury in her eyes.

 

Your mum had always been a gentle and kind soul, but she was just as much of a product of Small Heath as you. She could be tough and fierce when she needed to, and her temper was not something that should be underestimated.

 

“I will kill him.” She said softly, while stroking your hair and holding you. “I swear if I lay eyes on him I will _kill him_.”

 

“Don’t.” Your voice was croaky again, and you drank from your third cup. “I don’t want you to waste your energy on him mum.”

 

But her face was already set in a harsh scowl and you knew that her mind had been made up. You hadn’t seen her like this since Grace.

 

( _Grace Grace Grace….it always comes back to her doesn’t it?_ )

 

Prior to that, your mum had developed a strange kind of fondness for the Shelbys. You knew that she still harboured reservations, but their charm had won her over, and little Finn became like a second child to her and he quickly became her favourite Shelby.

 

But everything changed after Grace.

 

Your mum had threatened Tommy’s life then too, and to his face, in front of his brothers and a dozen other Blinders. Despite your mum’s small stature, she had a knack for making herself seem far bigger than she truly was, to the point where she could even tower over Arthur. You hadn’t seen it, as you were hiding from the world under the covers, but you heard that Tommy had gone ashen and seemed to genuinely fear for his life. Your mum had given him only one other chance, and after that nothing on this earth or beyond would be able to stop her from tearing him apart.

 

It had not only formed a rift between your mum and Tommy, but also with the rest of the Shelbys, save Finn. Her suspicions about them had been reaffirmed in Tommy and she could no longer trust them. You could only imagine what this would do.

 

“And with Lizzie of all fucking people.” The anger in your mum’s voice rose, almost sounding like a snarl. Like you she had liked Lizzie immensely, the way that your mum likes things she perceives to be lost and in need of guidance. Just like with Finn she had more or less adopted Lizzie as her own child, and always welcomed her with open arms. The only thing that matched your mum’s anger was the hurt in her eyes. “Death’s too fucking good for them.”

 

“Leave it mum. Please.”

 

Your mum opened her mouth, but quickly closed again when she took a closer look at you. No doubt you looked like a mess, red puffy eyes and black streaks of mascara that mirrored your tears on splotchy cheeks. The idea of looking as horrible as you felt made you wince.

 

For the second time that day, a door knock made you jump.

 

You looked at your mum, and she looked at you. Without saying anything, both of you knew who was at the door, and you both knew your mum would answer it.

 

With all the severity of a mourner, your mum went to the door, while you remained seated and tried to focus very hard on your tea.

 

“Is Name here?” Tommy’s voice was steady, almost businesslike, and you nearly threw your teacup.

 

“How dare you.” The words seemed to come more from your mum’s throat than her mouth, almost sounding like a guttural growl. “You betray my daughter for a second time, and you have the nerve to come here and ask for her.”

 

“Mrs Surname I-”

 

“No!”

 

You jumped at how harshly and loudly your mum had barked the word out. This was not what you had seen with the Grace incident.

 

“The only reason why I haven’t killed you with your own fucking hat is because my daughter needs me, and I can’t help her while I’m in a cell.”

 

The atmosphere was tense, and you could only imagine how much Tommy was sweating under your mum’s gaze.

 

“Now I want you to leave, and never _ever_ darken my doorstep or bother my daughter _ever_ again.”

 

When the door slammed the whole house shook, and you nearly spilled your tea but you were able to compose yourself by the time your mum came back.

 

“The nerve of that little bastard!” Your mum spat as she returned to her seat next to you. “I mean it sweetheart, just say the word and I’ll give you his head on a fucking plate.”

 

“It wouldn’t change anything mum.” But you smiled all the same.

 

* * *

 

 

That night you slept in your childhood bedroom, and tried to sleep despite being plagued by scenes of Tommy with Grace, with Lizzie, with a dozen other women that he could very easily have had in secret.

 

As a result, when you got up the next day every bit of you felt heavy, like you were made from iron. Not even your bath was able to ease you, and trudging all the way down stairs proved to be almost impossible, even with the prospect of food made by your mum.

 

Sensing your despondent mood, your mum only made the lightest of conversation, and didn’t push you when the only responses you gave were movements of the head and the occasional sound.

 

While you doing the washing up, you heard your mum swear before she stormed back into the kitchen. “That little prick has got his Blinders all over the street!” She grabbed the nearest tea towel and wrung it in her hands, almost like she was imagining it was Tommy’s neck.

 

You frowned, letting your hands rest in the warm soapy water. You had hoped to see Polly, try and get some wisdom from her, but you didn’t want to do that while being watched. As you mum continued to complain and call Tommy all sorts of names, including one that made you raise your brows, an idea suddenly popped into your head.

 

“Mum, can you do something for me?”

 

Immediately your mum stopped her tirade and she turned to you, face going soft. “Of course dear, what do you need?”

 

* * *

 

 

It really hadn’t taken much to get your mum to go along with the plan. If anything she was happy about it, jumping at the opportunity to yell at the Blinders Tommy had sent, causing a commotion and attracting the attention of quite a few neighbours. As you slipped out the back and climbed over various low stone walls, you began to feel a little sorry for them. It wasn’t them your mum was mad at, it was their general presence and the fact that the shadow of her son-in-law, who might as well be dead now, could stretch long enough to engulf her. Maybe it always would.

 

Although you had been more than a little intimidated by Polly at first, you had grown close to the Shelby family’s matriarch, even going as far to refer to her as your aunt. She had joined your mum as a strong foundation for you to rely on, and you had been more than grateful for that many times.

 

Her house wasn’t far, and as her car was still out on the street you knew she was still home. You were surprised at the lack of Blinders on her street, but then you figured that Polly could look after herself and, like your mum, would protest at the idea of being watched over at Tommy’s behest.

 

When Polly saw that it was you at your door, she seemed surprised but she let you in regardless. You had barely put a foot in the front hall before it all came tumbling out.

 

“He’s done it again Pol.” You said, and you expected your voice to crack, but it didn’t. To your own ears your calm sounded off, but you supposed that that’s what happens in times like these. “Tommy’s gone and fucked around and now he has a child on the way.” You didn’t say Lizzie’s name, that wound was still far too fresh.

 

Polly sat on the arm of a sofa, looking very grim yet also regal. “That fucking boy.” She muttered, getting out a cigarette and lighting it.

 

“I didn’t even hear it from him. I had to hear it from her.” You could still see Lizzie’s face, the pain that she had shown. At the time it had saddened you, but now you were just angry. How dare she act like a victim? She was your best friend and she had slept with your husband, after everything you’ve done for her. Tommy never would’ve hired her if it weren’t for you, and this is how she repays you.

 

“I’m surprised it took Lizzie this long.”

 

You nodded. Only half of you was still in Polly’s house, the rest was back at your own. “She was supposed to be my friend! What kind of friend-”

 

Lizzie. Polly had said Lizzie’s name.

 

Slowly, you looked up at Polly, her pitying gaze half obscured by smoke. It made your stomach roil.

 

“How did you know it was Lizzie?”

 

Polly froze, her hand halfway to her mouth to pluck out her cigarette. She stared at a corner of her living room while you stared at her, trying to make sense of what was happening.

 

 _Tommy must’ve told her._ You reasoned. _Last night, yeah he must’ve gone to her, told her what happened, asked her what to do._

 

“I was the one who told her she was pregnant.” She finally said, pulling out her cigarette and blowing out smoke. “I got it from her tea leaves. She didn’t tell me it was Tommy’s until the next day.”

 

Not even the ashamed look on Polly’s face was enough to calm you.

 

“You knew.” It came out as a whisper, wavering and barely audible, yet incredibly loud in the otherwise silent room. “You knew...and you didn’t tell me.”

 

“I left it to Lizzie and Tommy.” She said, finally able to find the courage to look at you. Something in your face made her stand, take a step towards you. “I thought it was better for one of them to tell you.”

 

“The messenger doesn’t change the message!” You snapped, feeling your mum’s fury rise inside you. “I can’t believe this, I really can’t fucking believe this!”

 

Before Polly had the opportunity to say anything else, to try and defend herself, you stormed out, slamming the door behind you.

 

* * *

 

 

You had no intention of going back to your mum in such a state, so instead you went to the stable where Tommy kept his prized horses. He had taken you here on your first date, introducing you to every horse and telling you about their little quirks and how many wins they all had. It quickly became your favourite place to hide away, and you and Tommy shared your first kiss in one of the stalls.

 

All of this invaded your mind as you walked past the stalls, and you tried your best to ignore it. Instead you went to Diamond, a beautiful white mare that Tommy gave you as a wedding present.

 

“She was the smartest and most beautiful one of the lot.” Tommy had said as you gazed into her beautiful black eyes. “Only the best for you.”

 

Diamond turned her majestic head, and let out a soft whinny when she saw you. She stuck her head out of her stall and nuzzled your face gently. For the first time in twenty four hours, you smiled and stroked her mane, resting your cheek against her nose.

 

You stood there in contented silence, running your fingers through Diamond’s mane while she playfully nipped at your hair. It was like she knew you were suffering and that what you needed right now was someone to hold and be quiet while you did so.

 

You closed your eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding had been beautiful, and even more than what you had ever imagined.

 

Being without a father, Arthur had volunteered to give you away, and he looked at you with such pride it made you blush.

 

Ada, Martha, and Lizzie were resplendent in their dresses, beaming at you and looking fit to burst with happiness.

 

Polly and your mum were both trying to hide their tears, but you could see them. When you walked past her, your mum reached out and gently squeezed your arm, and she smiled in a way that you hadn’t seen since your dad had been lowered into the ground.

 

John was grinning like a particularly pleased cat and gave you a thumbs up and mouthed _Congratulations._

 

But all of them faded against Tommy.

 

He stood at the end of the aisle, gazing at you as if he had never seen you before in a suit that Arthur had told you just before was brand new, bought especially for the occasion. You had never seen him so nervous, it almost made you laugh. But when the two of you were standing side by side, all the breath left your lungs.

 

It had been the happiest day of your life.

 

* * *

 

 

Diamond’s urgent huffing brought you back to the present, and you looked up at her quizzically. “What’s wrong girl?”

 

She raised her head and whinnied, her eyes wild.

 

“Di, calm down.” You tried to wrap your arms around her neck again and calm her, but she kept tossing your hands away, her cries becoming more and more urgent.

 

You jumped back when she started slamming herself against the stall door, making the whole thing shake and the lock rattle.

 

“Diamond!”

 

Just as you tried to reach out to her, she butted her head against you, sending you to the ground just as a bullet flew past you.

 

You scrambled to get behind a nearby crate, pulling out your gun. You peaked around, and saw a man dressed in black making his way down the stable. His next bullet missed you by mere seconds as you pulled your head back.

 

Both hands on the handle of your pistol, you moved to come out from behind the crate and duck behind another one, closer to your target, when the sound of splintering wood made you turn your head.

 

Like a streak of white lightning, Diamond was running down the stable, her hooves ringing out against the paved ground. With more strength than you knew she possessed, Diamond knocked the man down onto his back, sending his gun flying far behind him. Diamond reared up and almost succeeded in bringing her hooves down on the man’s chest but he was able to roll out of the way. A knife suddenly appeared in his hand and he tried to slash at Diamond’s leg, but he only cut through air as she proved to be too quick.

 

It was only after you shot the wooden panel beside the man’s head that the two of them stopped and turned to look at you.

 

You kept your aim squarely on the man’s head, as you approached him. When he tried to get up, Diamond knocked him back down by slamming into him and knocking all the wind out of him.

 

Before he even spoke you knew he had been sent by the Italians, no one else would be foolhardy enough to go after Thomas Shelby’s wife on his own property. When you were standing over him, the urge to shoot burned in your hand.

 

 _Wait._ A voice said. _Wait. Try a different approach._

 

“What’s your name?”

 

The man glared at you suspiciously and you could see him trying to work out your angle.

 

“Your name.” You said again, more firmly this time.

 

“Matteo.” He said, still glaring. “Matteo Changretta.”

 

You didn’t know if the sending of a Changretta to kill you rather than one of their regular lackeys was meant to be a sign of respect, but you decided to take it as one.

 

Slowly, you lowered your gun and knelt beside him. “Matteo,” you said, more than a little amused at his surprise, “how about we have a little talk?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! And be sure to tick 'Store this replacement' so that you don’t have to do it every time.

It had taken what felt like forever to calm down Curly, and assure him that despite the gunshots, you were perfectly safe. The Italian that had been sent after you had managed to escape, which was partly true, and left him to tend to Diamond and her broken stall. Although you had given him some shreds of truth, you still felt bad for lying to Curly. He was a good sort, odd, but good, and always gentle with the horses.

 

Matteo had been able to sneak back to his car while you distracted Curly and you met him two blocks away where he proceeded to drive you to the hotel where he and his brothers were staying. The ride was silent and tense, and you kept one hand on your gun the whole way, but you had a feeling that Matteo would see this through. If nothing else, delivering the wife of Thomas Shelby to the head of the Changretta family would certainly be an accomplishment.

 

A talk with Luca Changretta was all you wanted, and although Matteo had been suspicious, it was better than the alternative. As a show of good faith you even gave him back his gun, which had surprised him. You didn’t know what he was expecting, but you had feeling that it wasn’t this.

 

You had never been to the Inkberrow Hotel, and you were somewhat impressed with it and the implication that the Changrettas had plenty of money to spend. Growing up the way you did, any sign of wealth impressed you, even after all the money Tommy had gained in recent years.

 

Before you could see Luca Changretta your presence had to be explained, which Matteo did on his own. You weren’t entirely sure that this wasn’t all together foolish, but you didn’t say.

 

After a few minutes and a surprising lack of raised voices, Matteo came back out into the hall. “He’ll see you.” And that was good enough.

 

The first thing you noticed was how big the room was. It seemed to be the same size as your mum’s living room, bigger even, and you couldn’t help the internal rise of an eyebrow. The second thing you noticed was Luca Changretta.

 

He was taller than you had expected him to be, taller than Arthur, and he had the same commanding presence your mum could muster at the tip of a hat. And he was very handsome, with his black hair slicked back and a strong profile that added to the general air of intimidation. A part of you felt bad for noticing, you were married after all. But Tommy had done far worse, and your idea was far worse than finding another man infinitely more attractive than your husband.

 

Luca Changretta smiled, and you immediately felt as if you were staring at an apex predator. “Mrs Shelby,” he said, the words falling from his mouth as languid as a cat. A big one maybe. “My brother tells me you wish to talk to me.”

 

“Name.” You said. Hearing the name ‘Shelby’ made your skin crawl. “I would prefer it if you called me that, Mr Changretta.”

 

There was the smallest hint of surprise on Luca Changretta’s face before he smiled again. “In that case, please call me Luca.” He sat behind the large desk at the center of the room, pulling out a toothpick from his pocket and putting it in his mouth. “So, what is it you wish to discuss?”

 

“I want to help you.”

 

The idea had only been half formed when you had first spoken to Matteo, but the time it had taken to be able to talk to Luca had allowed it to grow, like a creeping vine, wrapping itself around your heart.

 

To your surprise, Luca laughed. “You want to help.” He said, before glancing at Matteo. “She wants to help.” He chuckled, rolling the toothpick from end of his mouth to the other. “That is a very kind offer Name, but you’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

 

“I didn’t expect you to.” You said. “Which is why I’m going to tell you about Polly.”

 

For a brief moment, there was a flicker of apprehension on Luca’s face and you saw him look over at Matteo again. “What about her?” He asked slowly.

 

“Tommy knows about the double cross. The whole thing had been his idea.”

 

That had changed the atmosphere. It became heavier and you could feel the tension, yet somehow you were unbothered.

 

You had been apprehensive of the whole idea at first, too many things could go wrong and you weren’t keen on the idea of putting Polly in danger. But none of that mattered now.

 

“Is that so.” Luca slowly rose, making his way around the desk. “Why are you telling me this?” He leaned back against the desk, almost sitting on it. “You’re married to Thomas Shelby after all, why do you want to help us?”

 

“Because he’s a right bastard.” You weren’t any mood to sugar coat things, and you figured honesty would be the best course of action in this situation. “He’s cheated on me for the second time and this time he got the girl pregnant. He can fucking rot for all I care.”

 

There was a brief silence, but it was broken when Luca laughed, looking back at Matteo. “L'inferno non ha furia.” He said, more than a little amused.

 

“You haven’t begun to see my fury.”

 

Luca raised an eyebrow, grinning so widely you wondered if he was holding back another laugh. “You speak Italian.”   
  
“My grandmother was from Sicily.” You clarified. “She immigrated here after marrying an Englishman.” Your grandmother had never said much about Sicily, in fact she rarely spoke at all, and when she did it was always in Italian, which meant your mum and later you had to learn how to speak it. It wasn’t something you talked about much either, mostly because no one ever really asked and you never found it important or interesting enough to mention. It was the worst during the war, your mum refused to speak Italian outside the home out of fear that someone would mistake her for an Italian spy. She didn’t feel comfortable enough to let the language leave her door again until 1922.

 

“Well, that explains it.” Luca said. “My father always said that Sicilian women are more dangerous than guns.”

 

A sudden air of sadness came over the room, as Luca went from playful and pensive, and you found yourself feeling empathetic towards him.

 

“I’m sorry about your dad.” You said softly. “He never should’ve died.”

 

What you really thought was that none of this, the vendetta, the deaths, needed to happen. The only reason why it was happening was because Lizzie had fallen in love with Angel Changretta, a development that you had supported. You had been furious with Tommy when he tried to interfere, after all it was none of his business who Lizzie saw. John had married Esme which left Lizzie to pursue whatever man she wanted. Now you felt that a part of you better understood why he had done that.

 

“Thank you.” Luca gave you what appeared to be a genuine smile and a part of you felt warmer for it. “So, Polly has been playing me has she?”

 

“Yes.” You said, pulling yourself back into the moment. “She went to Tommy after she got your letter and they came up with the plan together. She would give you a time and place to go after Tommy and set up an ambush. None of you know Small Heath all that well and Tommy planned on using that to his advantage.”

 

“You realize that this means Polly is back on my list.” Luca said, raising a brow. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

 

“She knew about the pregnancy.” You said, still stinging from that particular betrayal. “As far as I’m concerned she’s as bad as Thomas. But, you don’t need to kill her. Or Thomas.”

 

Luca took the toothpick out of his mouth, rolling it between his fingers. “Then what do you suggest?”

 

“Take everything else from them.” You said. “As far as I’m concerned, death is too quick and too good for them. But if you take away what they have, the business the money the empire, that’s a much slower death. A more painful one, and it’ll hurt Tommy the most. He’s always wanted power, so how better to punish him than to take it away?”

 

There was a pause as Luca appeared to be thinking your suggestion over. He looked up at you with an expression you couldn’t read, the corners of his mouth twitching. “It’s a shame Mr Shelby doesn’t know how to be loyal to his wife.” He mused. “It seems he’s lost a valuable ally.” He stood up straight, putting the toothpick back in his mouth. “Thank you for your help Name, I’ll contact you if I need to.”

 

You didn’t ask how he would do that, you just assumed that like Tommy and other gangsters, he would find a way. “Have a good day Luca.” You said.

 

“Oh, I’m sure I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L'inferno non ha furia-Hell hath no fury (according to google translate)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! And be sure to tick Store this replacement so that you don’t have to do it every time.

You returned to your mum’s place through the back just like when you left, and found her in hysterics.

“Where have you been?!” She shrieked. “Curly said you were nearly killed by those Italians! Why didn’t you come straight back here? I thought something had happened to you!”

Seeing the tears well up in your mum’s eyes, a wave of shame overcame you. You honestly didn’t think Curly would say anything about what had happened to your mum, but everyone was so on edge now that it really shouldn’t have surprised you.

“I’m sorry mum.” You said gently, hugging her tight. “I just…I needed some air.”

Before you set foot in the direction of your mum’s home you had decided to keep her in the dark about your plan. Not because you didn’t trust her, but because you needed her to be safe. With everything else falling away, your mum was all you had and you didn’t want her tangled up in this. You were going to shoulder this alone, for better or worse.

“Mum.” You inhaled deeply, gently holding your mum by her shoulders. “I’m going back to Tommy.”

The look of utter despair and heartbreak on your mum’s face made you feel even worse, which you didn’t think would be possible.

“No.” She said, trying to be firm but her voice cracked right at the end. “No I can’t let you do that. He’s broken your heart again, how many times does he have to hurt you until you leave?”

You didn’t answer. You knew that taking Tommy back was essential to your plan, but it didn’t make you feel any better about how your mum felt. “At least one more time.” You finally said grimly.

The tears were free flowing now, and your mum couldn’t hold back, begging you to not go back to Thomas, to stay here as long as necessary, to finally abandon the Shelby name.

“Mamma,” you said softly, “ti prego fidati di me.”

There was a brief pause, and your mum looked up at you, eyes shining from the tears. She set her mouth in a thin line. “Spero tu sappia cosa stai facendo.”

_‘So do I.’_

* * *

When Thomas got home that night, he found you in the kitchen brewing a fresh pot of tea. You were using a blend you made yourself that had jasmine, pear, and peppermint. An odd mix of flavours perhaps, but you were fond of it and you knew Thomas would know what the smell meant.

Sure enough, moments after you heard the front door close, you saw Thomas at the doorway. He stared at you like it was the first time he ever saw you, and he was afraid it would be his last. “You’re back.” He whispered.

“Yes.” You took the pot to the table where you had set out two tea cups, filling both of them. “Although my mum isn’t too happy about it.” You said.

“I-I can imagine.” Slowly, Thomas approaches you, watching you for a reaction.

Seeing him act like a skittish foal made you smile even wider, but you kept your expression kind rather than mocking, and you even reached out for his hand. You gently held the tips of his fingers, keeping your grip soft and unthreatening. “Before you say anything.” You said, noticing Thomas open his mouth. “You need to know, that this is the last time this happens.” You look up at him, expression somber but trying to be kind and calm about it. It was one you had worn before and you didn’t need to put much practice and effort into it. “If another woman comes out of the woodwork, I’m gone. For good.”

In a flash Thomas is holding your hand with both of his and bringing it up to his lips. “I understand.” His voice is hushed, eyes closed, and his head is bent, like he’s in church, while brushing his lips along your knuckles. “I-I know I don’t deserve it, or you.”

_‘No you fucking don’t.’_

“But I swear to you, this will be the last time I will hurt you.” He takes your face into his hands and brings you close, his clear blue eyes staring into yours with a tenderness you hadn’t seen since before the war.

It almost makes you believe him.

“I’ll do whatever it takes.” He kisses your forehead softly, before trailing his lips to your left temple and nuzzling his nose in your hair. He inhales deeply. “I let Lizzie go.” He said softly, watching you for some kind of reaction.

This surprised you. You had planned to trying to persuade Thomas to fire Lizzie, both because it was part of your plan, and out of sheer pettiness. Just because you were ready to use Thomas that didn’t mean you were over this betrayal. “You didn’t have to do that.” You said softly.

“Yes I did.”

For a few moments, the two of you stood in silence. But while Thomas’s silence was that of a supplicant, yours was of the kind that lingers in the rooms of schemers and traitors.

“Who will replace her?” You asked carefully, bringing one of the teacups up to Thomas for him to take.

“Don’t know.” He took the cup, sipping it while still gazing at you.

“Could…” You bite your bottom lip as you picked up the other teacup, doing your best to appear hesitant. “Could I…” You trail off purposefully, taking a nervous gulp of the tea, counting on Tommy to pick up what you had put down.

He looked at you with confusion, his brow furrowed. “Do you want to?”

You shrug shyly, acting as if you never meant to bring the possibility forward. “I just…I would feel safer, knowing you were there.” You put a hand on his arm, fighting back the sudden surge of revulsion that had overcome you. “And it could be good for us…”

A third reason is left in the space between you two. You could keep a closer eye on him if you were his secretary, make sure he was keeping his promise. It was a gamble, you had known that when the idea began to take shape in your mind, but it was one you were willing to take. Lord knew you had taken worse ones.

The air becomes still and tense, as you drink the rest of your tea with genuine nervousness, never taking your eyes off Thomas. You may have told him he was forgiven, but he knew that it was going to take a lot of work to go back to the way things used to be, and he knew that you knew that too.

“Ok.” He set his tea down, putting his arms around you and resting his forehead against yours. “Starting tomorrow eh?”

You nod, and when Thomas closes his eyes, you allow yourself a moment to let out the daggers that had been hiding behind yours.

* * *

Even without anyone saying anything, you knew that they all knew. You knew it from the pitying looks, the attempts to not look directly at you, the excessive niceties. The only one who didn’t act like anything was different was Arthur, who greeted you with a grin and then a hug.

“It’ll be good to have ya about.” He said, leading you to your new desk. “Tommy is always better with you around.”

_‘No he isn’t.’_

But you smile back and rest your hand on Arthur’s arm and gently squeeze. “At least I’m out of the house finally.” You joked, feeling the releasing of tension in your muscles. The two of you had always got on well, like a house on fire. You appeared to be the only one with the patience and endurance to handle Arthur’s erratic outbursts, and the one who was always the most ready to forgive him for anything he had done while in one of his blind rages. Under all the gangster bluster, Arthur had a good heart. Had he been born into a different family, a different life, he could’ve been someone great. All the Shelbys could’ve.

“I’m goin’ to visit Michael later, do you want to come with me?”

The offer was touching, and made you guiltily remember how the only time you had visited Michael was when he was in his coma. Seeing him had put the fear of God in your heart, and made you avoid the hospital because of it. “Yeah, yeah, I would.”

“Good, sorted.” Arthur loitered by your desk as you took your seat and familiarized yourself with everything on it and in the drawers. Every trace of Lizzie was gone.

“Listen, Name…” He swallowed, looking away. “I-I didn’t know. About Lizzie.”

Well, perhaps not every trace.

“I know.” You said, in a hushed voice. The night before, Thomas had assured you that the only Shelbys that were privy that his very brief, but fruitful, affair were him and Polly. And you believed him, because you knew that the rest of them would never hide something like that from you. “It’s alright Arthur.”

“No it bloody well isn’t.” The gruffness in his voice, not to mention the words themselves, surprised you. You hadn’t expected Arthur to take this stance, as even in the worst times he always stood by Thomas. But it seemed he had reached his limit, same as you. “You were always good to Tom. You didn’t deserve that. Any of it.” He placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed, like you had with his arm. “I’m sorry.”

It was the only apology that you had heard that you believed.

“Everything alright here?”

Thomas had emerged from his office, eyes flitting between you and his brother. The slight tightness in his tone, not to mention the way he was looking at the two of you, made you sick. He always got like that whenever he started to feel jealous and/or possessive, two feelings that in your humble opinion, Thomas had no right to feel anymore.

“Jus’ fine Tom.” Arthur drew his hand back, also recognizing what was beginning to form in Thomas. He gave you one last smile before he left the two of you to your devices.

After a tense silence, Thomas turned to you, his gaze now soft. “May Carlton is coming later.”

Another name that set you on edge. Before this, you had assumed that May was merely some posh girl who had a taste for bad men, and was largely harmless. But you had thought the same of Grace too. Thomas had not admitted to anything going on between him and May, but it was hard to ignore the possibility.

You found the appointment in the diary, in Lizzie’s handwriting. You wondered how Lizzie felt, seeing that name staring up at her, in her own hand. It gave you a small sense of sadistic pleasure. “Do I need to prepare anything?” You asked, keeping everything conversational.

“No, it’s fine.”

For a few moments, the two of you just stand in silence.

Thomas swallows, his Adam’s apple slowly descending before going back up again. For a split second, you imagined sticking a bullet, or even a knife, into that piece of flesh. The next, you pictured sinking your teeth into it, tearing the skin and muscle away completely. See how well Thomas lies without a throat.

You swallowed down those fantasies and forced yourself to kiss him gently. It was barely a kiss really, the kind the two of you used to exchange when you were both still young and could still feel delirious happiness when around each other. Quick, chaste, easily kept secret.

The connection had never even occurred to you, you had simply done it because you felt that it was something that you should do, given the circumstances. But it wasn’t lost on Thomas.

He gazed at you like he didn’t entirely believe that you were real, like if he looked away he would lose you.

Well he could look all he liked. You weren’t coming back.

“Arthur and I are going to visit Michael later.” You said softly, taking delight in the way your breath on Thomas’s lips made him inhale sharply, his eyes traveling down to your lips. “Is there anything you want me to give him or tell him?”

To anyone else, the question was perfectly innocent. But it’s implication was anything but; I’m going somewhere and I don’t want you there. The fact that you would be accompanied by Arthur, whom Thomas seemed to be rather jealous of now, added another layer to it. He needn’t worry though, Arthur loved Linda too much to do anything that would hurt or humiliate her.

“No, it’s alright.” Thomas paused, then went over to you and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “Everything’s going to work out, I promise.” He whispered into your hair.

“I know.”

_‘Just not for you.’_

* * *

The rest of the day passed without event, until May turned up.

She looked at you with wide, slightly frightened eyes. You had conversed only once, before the horse auction, and she had shown no seen of fear then. Even if you hadn’t caught the look of guilt on her face, you would’ve known from that alone.

“Mrs Shelby.” She said by way of greeting, while looking directly over your shoulder. “Good afternoon.”

“And you Mrs Carlton.” You smiled warmly while rising from your seat. “Tommy is expecting you.” You lead May to the large double doors that seperated Thomas’s office from the rest of the betting shop, and opened them without knocking.

Thomas looked up from his desk and for a split second he looked like he was going to say something snippy until he saw that was just you and May. He waited and watched the two of you approach him, shaking May’s hand. “Thank you for coming Mrs Carlton.” He said formally, like he was trying to emphasize that there was no kind of personal connection between them.

“I’ll leave you two too it.” You said before excusing yourself, enjoying the tense look Thomas and May exchange and that you pretended not to see. Who knew you possessed a sadistic streak.

While looking over paperwork that Lizzie hadn’t been able to complete prior to her dismissal, you heard a throat being cleared. You looked up and saw an ashamed Polly.

_‘How many more fake apologies do I have to sit through?’_

“Polly.” You kept your voice soft and lowered your eyes, as if embarrassed.

“Do you have a moment?” She asked.

“Of course.” Let her try and defend herself, it was too late for her anyway.

Polly swallowed thickly and she blinked a few times, which she only did when trying to calm herself. Especially when she’s close to tears. “I know you have no right to forgive me, or believe anything I say, but I am sorry for keeping this from you.”

You lifted your gaze, still looking like a wounded deer. You should’ve entered the world of theater.

“Leaving it for Tommy or Lizzie to tell you was cowardly.”

_‘You’re fucking right it was.’_

“You’re a part of this family, have been for years, and you deserved better. I-” She cut herself off and nervously bit her bottom lip. “I should’ve gone to you straight away. We can’t afford to have division in this family, especially now with everything happening.”

You nodded, making yourself look grim. “I understand.” You said softly. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” That was an absolute lie of course, but you needed to keep playing your part, even if it made your stomach churn. You stood up and walked around the desk, embracing Polly. “Thank you.”

If Polly was surprised by the hug, she didn’t show it. She just wrapped her arms around you. For a moment, everything felt normal. You weren’t having homicidal fantasies, scheming the downfall of the fledgling Shelby empire, and planning a fate worse than death for your husband.

When you pulled away, the moment was gone and you were back in reality. It almost hurt.

“All is forgiven.” You assured her. “If I can forgive Tommy then I can forgive you.” You added as a joke, smiling as you did so.

Polly snorted and shook her head. “You have the patience of a saint with that boy.”

You nearly laughed at that, but you managed to hold it in and just nodded. “How are you doing? Are you ok?”

“Not really.” Polly admitted, getting out a cigarette and lighting it. “Every time I close my eyes I imagine Luca Changretta pressing a gun to Michael’s head.”

The same thought had occurred to you, so your sympathy was sincere this time when you spoke. “Tommy has guards watching Michael around the clock.” You reminded her. “I doubt a fly will be able to get into Michael’s room without being interrogated.”

Polly chuckled and smiled a little. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. It’s just stupid paranoia.”

“It isn’t stupid.” You said gently. “We’ve already lost John. If anything, I would be concerned if you weren’t paranoid.”

Polly exhaled smoke and looked at you thoughtfully. “I always thought you were a good influence on this family. Especially Tommy.” She tapped her cigarette on the glass ashtray on your desk. “We’re lucky to have you.”

That really almost got you going. “I do my best.” You joked.

The moment was interrupted by the telephone ringing, making you both jump.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Polly said, patting your hand with a smile before leaving.

Sitting back in your chair, you picked up the receiver and picked up a pencil, ready to take notes if necessary. “Shelby Company Limited.” You said cheerily. “How may I help you?”

“Name, your plan’s already started to come together I see.”

Luca Changretta’s voice sent a jolt down your spine and you sat up straighter, keeping yourself as calm as possible as you did your best to act like this was just another normal call. “Yes sir, this is Mr Shelby’s secretary.”

A deep chuckle came through, making you shiver in a way that wasn’t unpleasant. “I want to talk, how about coming back to the hotel?”

“Let me check Mr Shelby’s diary.” You replied, pretending to look over Thomas’s diary. “Is later this afternoon doable for you sir?”

“Perfect.” It almost came out as a purr, and again you thought a very big, very dangerous cat. “Where should I have Matteo pick you up?”

“I’m afraid Mr Gray is in the hospital sir.” You said, hoping that Luca Changretta would pick up on your hint. “But I will be able to pass on a message.”

“Across the street from the hospital it is.” Either your ears were deceiving you, or Luca Changretta was genuinely amused by this. “I look forward to it.”

At the sound of footsteps you looked up and saw Arthur standing just a meter away, waiting for you to be finished with the call. “I’ll pass it on to him right away sir.” You said. “Is there anything else?”

“Not at all. I’ll see you later bella.”

He hung up before you had the chance to do so, leaving you feeling a little flustered and trying very hard to hide it.

“Everything ok?”

You looked up at Arthur and smiled, able to calm yourself just enough to not raise suspicion. “Yeah, just taking a call.” You got up from the desk, with legs that had somehow gotten weaker, and went to Arthur, linking your arm with his to help steady yourself. “Everything’s fine.”

Arthur smiled down at you. “Good. You’ve got enough on your plate.”

For the first time, a twinge of guilt appeared in your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Mamma ti prego fidati di me-Mom, please trust me (according to google translate)
> 
> Spero tu sappia cosa stai facendo-I hope you know what you are doing (according to google translate)
> 
> Bella-Beautiful (according to google translate)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I UPDATED BUT HOPEFULLY I'LL GET BETTER AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING!!!!!
> 
> I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! And be sure to tick 'Store this replacement' so that you don’t have to do it every time.

Ever since you first met him, you had been immeasurably fond of Michael. You had seen a lot of yourself in him at the time, being a sweet and naive young man that hadn’t yet been exposed to the dark world the Shelbys inhabited. You had taken him under your wing, and tried your best to shield him from everything. You didn’t want Polly’s only child to be sucked into the crime world.

 

When he came back from killing Father Hughes, you nearly cried on the spot.

 

After that, you saw him change into what could only be called a miniature Tommy. The one thing you had wished so hard not to happen was happening, and you had no way of stopping it.

 

While Arthur talked to the Blinders that had been stationed outside Michael’s room, you went straight in. When he saw you he smiled brightly, and a pink tint bloomed in his cheeks, restoring some life to him. Of course you were well aware that Michael had something of a crush on you. The seriousness of the crush remained a mystery to you, and you wanted to keep it that way. It would’ve made it harder to talk to him than it already was.

 

“Michael.” Without a second thought you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him so tight that a part of you worried that you were blocking off air from getting into his lungs. But the other part, somewhat selfishly, refused to care. “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you until now.” You said gently, finally pulling yourself away and sitting in the chair that been put beside his bed.

 

“It’s alright.” He said quickly. “I understand.”

 

You smiled and admired the flowers that were in a vase on the small round table in the middle of the room. “Who sent you those? A girlfriend we don’t know about?” You said the last bit teasingly, to make the atmosphere lighter.

 

The pink on Michael’s face seemed to vanish, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “My mum came.”

 

“Oh? When did Polly come in and do that?”

 

“It wasn’t….I didn’t mean…”

 

It took you a minute to realize that Michael was referring to Rosemary Johnson, the woman who had adopted him after he was taken from Polly.

 

“Oh.” You looked over at the flowers again, and tried to imagine how she must’ve felt, seeing Michael in this state. It was hard enough for you, so it must’ve been Hell for her. “How is she? And...the rest of the family?”

 

“My dad’s dead.”

 

The way Michael’s voice broke slightly at the end when he spoke made your heart ache for him. You understood what it was like to lose a father, but you were fortunate enough to be there in his final hours, and hear him say that he loved you and ask you to look after your mum. Michael had practically been a whole world away.

 

“Oh Michael.” You hugged him again, gentler this time, and when you pulled away, you tenderly held his face and saw the beginnings of tears form in his eyes. “Sweetheart I’m so sorry.”

 

Michael sniffled and was about to speak when you both heard the door open. Michael immediately wiped his tears away and you leaned back in your chair to look over at Arthur as he pulled up a chair beside you.

 

“You doin’ alright Michael?” He asked, oblivious to what had just transpired.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Michael smiled. “It’s good of you two to come.”

 

“‘Course.” Arthur smiled. “We’re family Michael, and family looks out for each other.”

 

You smiled too and put a hand on Michael’s, trying to push away the chill that had started to creep down your neck.

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately the visit hadn’t been as long as you would’ve liked, but before you left you hugged Michael one more time. “I’ll visit you more often.” You promised.

 

“You don’t need to do that.” Michael insisted. “I know you and Tom-” He cut himself off after Arthur cleared his throat. “I mean...yeah.”

 

Knowing that Michael was aware of what had happened hurt more than you had expected to. But you just smiled and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of his head, pretending that you didn’t see the deep red flush that had risen in his face.

 

“I don’t know how he found out.” Arthur said once the two of you were in the corridor. “It wasn’t from me.”

 

“It’s alright Arthur.” You assured him, squeezing his arm. “I know how fast news travels here.”

 

Arthur furrowed his brow, but he could tell that you wanted to leave it there, so he did.

 

Once out on the street, you immediately spotted Matteo’s car across the road, and saw the man himself reading the paper while in the driver’s seat. It was only then that you realized just how risky it was to meet him there. In the moment you had been flustered that you didn’t really think about it, but there was no way to change it now.

 

“You head back to the shop Arthur.” You said. “I need to check up on my mum, she hasn’t been feeling well.”

 

“Alright, I’ll let Tommy know.” Arthur patted you on the back. “Tell her I said hi yeah? If she isn’t too angry with the rest of us.”

 

You laughed, feeling guilty at just how readily Arthur believed you. “I’ll give it a go.”

 

The two of you went in seperate directions, but you hid behind a corner and waited until Arthur was out of sight before hurrying across the street and going to Matteo’s car.

 

He said nothing when you knocked on the passenger door, only put the paper down and got the car started once you were in, pulling out onto the road before you were even properly seated. Probably pay back for what happened in the stable, which was fair enough.

 

This time around the ride seemed to take far longer, but that could’ve easily been because of your own nerves. Your mind felt like a race track, each thought trying to overtake another and leaving a ringing in your ears. By the time you got to the hotel the race still hadn’t been won.

 

Matteo lead you into the dining room, where Luca was waiting in a booth far at the back.

 

Luca smiled as you approached, and gestured to the seat across from him. “Make yourself comfortable.” He said affably before looking over at Matteo. “Sei stato seguito?”

 

“No.”

 

“Buono.” With a wave of the hand Matteo left, probably to his room. Luca poured two glasses of wine, pushing one towards you. “Thank you for seeing me again on such short notice.”

 

“Just tell me what you want.” You said, ignoring the wine. Just because you were willing to plot Thomas’s demise with Luca Changretta, that didn’t mean you were going to get friendly with him. No matter how tempting it would be.

 

Luca raised a brow and smirked. “I always did love a woman who gets right to the point.” He took a sip from his glass and admired it. “Thank fuck Prohibition doesn’t exist here.” He joked.

 

“I don’t have a lot of time signore.”

 

Luca put up his hands in a mocking show of surrender. “I just wanted to...iron out details of our new found partnership.” He said, taking another sip of his wine. “So, I take it Thomas is fair game?”

 

“No.” You said firmly. “I want to be the one who puts the last nail in his coffin. I want to see the look in his eyes when he realizes he’s lost everything.” Maybe then he’ll understand how you felt, both times your world collapsed around you and left you scrambling to put it back together, only to get cuts on your hands from the shards.

 

“A woman after my own heart.” Luca said fondly, chuckling. “Alright, I’ll give you that pleasure. It’s the least you deserve.”

 

You weren’t entirely sure what you had done to deserve that ‘pleasure’ as he called it, but you decided not to think on it too much. “Polly is all yours, do what you like with her.”

 

“Oh trust me. I will.” Luca’s face suddenly went sour, and his eyes grew dark with anger, his lips pulled back in what could be a snarl.

 

(He was making it very hard to not find him attractive.)

 

“Everyone else is off limits.” You said firmly. “They didn’t know anything, so I don’t want anything happening to them.”

 

In an instant Luca shed the snarl and exchanged it for a smirk. “Is that so? You do know what vendetta means don’t you?”

 

“Of course I do.” You replied, trying not to sound offended. “You and Thomas are both down a brother, and taking away his wealth and power would be far worse than killing his father. Trust me.”

 

“I’m well aware of the relationship between Thomas and his father.” Luca said.

 

This startled you. The reputation of the Shelby’s father was well known in Small Heath, but even with the speed at which gossip travels, you didn’t expect Luca to know anything about it. “Then you know that this is better.”

 

“And what of the other Shelbys?” Luca asked, running a long, slender finger up and down the wine glass. The ring he wore occasionally clinked against the glass, sending a strange shiver down your spine. “What will happen to them?”

 

“They’ll be cast down practically to where they started.” You said. “All I ask is that they be allowed to continue to work. Ada and Arthur both have a child each, and Michael deserves a chance to establish a family of his own.”

 

At the mention of Michael’s name, Luca’s face twitched. It was almost undetectable, but you saw the way his left eyelid flickered, how his jaw momentarily set before slacking again. You figured he was still sore over the fact that Michael was still alive.

 

“You’re asking for a lot.” Luca pointed out. “Letting the men who had my father and brother killed live wasn’t really what I had in mind.”

 

“Then I’ll go.” You said. “And you can do this on your own. And maybe you’ll be able to pull it off. But for all his many faults, Thomas is resourceful and wily, and he’ll find a way to pull the rug out from under you. He always does.” While it left a bitter taste in your mouth to praise Thomas, you had to make it clear to Luca somehow that he needed you just as much as you needed him. Possibly even moreso. “But I can make sure the rug stays put.”

 

To your surprise, Luca chuckled. “You’re as ruthless as you are loyal.” He observed, almost sounding impressed. He leaned back, still running his finger along the wine glass.

 

You kept your hands in your lap, balled up tight and gathering the material of your dress.

 

“Alright, you twisted my arm.” Luca sat up again and held out his hand. “We have a deal.”

 

“We’d better.” You said warningly, standing as you gave his hand a quick shake. “I’ve had my fill of lying men.”

 

Luca’s eyes slowly roamed over you as his lips turned upwards into a lazy smile. “I’m sure you have.”

 

For some reason, the way he said those words made every hair on your body stand on end and give you goosebumps. Determined to maintain your dignity, you turned away without another word, and hastily left the hotel.

 

(Why were you like this?)

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, Matteo hadn’t gone to his hotel room. He had been waiting outside, ready to take you back to the hospital so you could walk back to the office. This journey felt even longer than the last, and the silence hung thick, like clotted blood.

 

A part of you was grateful that Matteo was nowhere near as chatty as his brother.

 

Another wished he was, more so even, so that you could at least have something to focus on and think about, aside from Luca’s face and hands.

 

* * *

 

Just as you were about to open the door to the betting shop, May Carlton stepped out.

 

“Oh! Mrs Shelby!” Her eyes were wide and she quickly stepped to the side. “My apologies.”

 

“It’s alright Mrs Carlton.” You said, smiling brightly like the oh so good wife you were. “Leaving us already?”

 

“I’m afraid so.” She said, trying very hard to look like she wasn’t avoiding eye contact with you. “Before I do, I just want to say that I-I’ve heard. About John Shelby.”

 

You were surprised by how genuinely sad she looked, and you felt yourself become slightly endeared to her. “It’s been very hard lately.” You said softly.

 

“I know.” She said somberly, the way that only people who really did know could. “I-I’m sorry for your loss. You two must’ve been very close.”

 

“Yes. We were.” You blinked, feeling tears gather at the corners of your eyes as you recalled all the times John made you laugh, and the times when he made you scream in rage. You would take all of those moments of anger back in an instant now, if you could. “Thank you Mrs Carlton. You’re very kind. And it’s nice to know Tommy has friends.”

 

And there it was. The minute flinch that showed that, at least in May’s mind, she didn’t hold the title of ‘friend’. At least in the traditional sense. There had been no need for you to say that, but you did anyway. It was really surprising, just how vindictive you could be.

 

“He’ll be fine, as long as he has you.” Her voice went a little hoarse, in a way that yours had gone in the first few days after finding out about Grace. “Good day Mrs Shelby.”

 

“And to you Mrs Carlton.” You gave her one last sad little smile and watched as she left, perhaps walking a little faster than was necessary. You decided to savour this little victory.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed without consequence so you were able to relax and get work done, ignoring the occasional pitying look from the other workers. Just as the day was winding down, you went into Thomas’s office to see if he was finished with the papers you had given him almost three hours earlier. It had been a very hefty stack, and Thomas was meticulous when it came to business, so you weren’t exactly confident that they would all be done.

 

“Do you need anything else Tommy?” You asked, and you didn’t try to hide how tired you felt. All of the acting you had to do had exhausted you.

 

He looked up at you, face losing the guarded expression he wore for everyone that wasn’t you. It was amazing, how vulnerable Thomas let himself be around you. Once upon a time, you even found it endearing and it had made you love him and want to be good enough to be worthy of his vulnerability. Now it disgusted you, and left you wondering how many other women he had looked at like that without you knowing.

 

You could wrap your hands around his throat right now.

 

“I have something that I want to show you.”

 

You blinked in surprise. “What is it?” Now fully revitalized thanks to your curiosity, you were standing up straighter.

 

The corner of Thomas’s mouth twitched, seemingly amused by your reaction. “I’ll show you.” He left his desk and the papers and took your hand in his.

 

_ ‘Bold of him to think he can touch me like that.’ _

 

But of course, at least for now, he could.

 

“Ok.” You said softly, wrapping your fingers around his even though it made you want to shudder and retch. “Take me Tommy.”

 

The way Thomas’s throat constricted didn’t escape your notice.

 

* * *

 

“A brewery?” You furrowed your brow and frowned. “Since when do you operate a brewery?” For some reason, knowing that Thomas had kept a possible side business venture from you was just as hurtful as knowing he had women on the side. It made you wonder just how much he was hiding and you made a note to keep a closer eye on his accounts and correspondence from now on.

 

“It’s a recent acquisition.” Thomas said, as he lead you into the building. “More of a side project really.”

 

Your eyes roamed over the shelves of empty bottles and machines that you assumed made drinkable alcohol that were housed in this moderately sized wooden building. “Did you get help from Alfie?”

 

“Alfie doesn’t know about this yet.”

 

A snort came out before you could stop it. “Always got to be one step ahead.” You said. When Thomas looked over at you, you smiled and let out a small laugh, to pass it off as a joke. “Going to sell to the Americans?”

 

“Mostly, but locally too.” Thomas went to a desk (of course he already had one set up), and opened one of the small cupboards and pulled out a bottle and two glasses. “I want your opinion.”

 

Without really thinking you went to Thomas’s side as he poured out the two drinks, and you saw the label he had made. “‘ Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness’?” You shook your head and a real, genuine laugh escaped your lips. “Well, I’m sure there’ll be some who will appreciate that if nothing else.”

 

Thomas chuckled at your teasing and he smiled. “I thought it sounded nice.” He said as he handed you a glass and raised a brow. “Do you not like it?”

 

“I never said that.” You pointed out. “It’s certainly you though.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Rather than reply, you took a gulp of the gin, savouring the taste. It was good, very good in fact, and a spiteful and petty part of you resented that. “Could be sweeter.” You said before taking another sip. “Aside from that, it’s fine.”

 

“Just fine?” Thomas looked at you expectantly.

 

Now it was your turn to raise a brow. “It goes down well.” You conceded. “And there’s no bad aftertaste, but it should still be sweeter.”

 

Apparently satisfied, Thomas nodded and downed his glass in one gulp. He had always thought highly of your judgement, so it was no surprise that he wanted your opinion. Although the fact that was firmly in the dog house, and always would be, might’ve had something to do with it too.

 

“I was planning on working on this for a little longer, but with the strike going on, I may have to speed things up.” He looked up at you over the rim of his glass. “What do you think I should do? About the strike I mean.”

 

You took another sip of the gin as you sat on the desk, thinking. You knew the workers were in the right, they worked long hours and deserved proper compensation. But the Thomas who would’ve agreed with that sentiment was gone, probably rotting somewhere in France.

 

(Sometimes you wished all of him had been left to rot in France. At least then you would’ve had happy memories of him.)

 

“You can’t give in.” You said firmly, keeping your eyes on his. “They need to know you can’t be cowed or manipulated. We can’t afford to be weak right now.” Despite the sensation of bile rising in your throat as you did so, you sat on Thomas’s lap, holding his face so that he couldn’t look away. “You are Thomas Fucking Shelby, and you need people to remember that and respect it. Besides, there are plenty of people who would be willing to take the places of the strikers.”

 

It was horrible advice and you knew it. The longer the strike dragged on, the more Thomas stood to lose. Of course as his wife you stood to lose a lot too, but you didn’t care. You needed to weaken Thomas on all fronts, make him spread himself as thinly as possible. The more he has to focus on, the easier it will be to ruin him.

 

The two of you sat in silence for a moment or two, as Thomas’s face softened under your determined gaze, his hands slowly raising to hold your face like you held his. He pulled you closer, so that your foreheads were touching and your noses were just brushing against each other. “Where would I be without you?” He whispered.

 

“Dead in a ditch somewhere.” You replied softly, with a teasing smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> \- Sei stato seguito: were you followed (according to google translate)
> 
> \- Buono: good (according to google translate)


End file.
